I just filled in an online survey about cycling in Oxford and Cambridge. Obviously it was the vague chance of winning a record token that prompted me, but the chance to rant about the stupid fat ignorant baffoon of a bus driver who tried to squish me into the pavement this morning was also a plus.
Then I thought, why stop there? Why not rant about it on the only public forum available to me?
So, Mr. Bus Driver, that small strip of green tarmac to your left. It may seem small and insignificant lane to you up there in your big bus, but its my lane and I was using it.
I understand that you wanted to pull in for your bus stop, but frankly you were thirty yards short of the stop, and you weren't indicating.
I also appreciate that my indication of my displeasure with your driving was not polite. However, I also don't consider forcing a cyclist into evasive action with a thirty ton bus that polite either.
Further, I don't consider it polite to subsequently tailgate said cyclist with aforemetioned thirty ton bus.
So, in conclusion, Mr. Bus Driver, driving is your job, Mr. Bus Driver, its the thing that you do, so I suggest you get a bit better at it. Maybe read up a bit. I'm not talking heavy stuff here, 'Zen and the Art of Bus Driving' will not be required. The Highway code would do (and maybe some medical texts on how squishy cyclists are.)
Oh, and one other thing, lose some weight. You ugly.
Rant ends.
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